We all have those dreams and goals in life that we would love to achieve could never actually obtain them. Right?
What if I told you that you can achieve anything you truly desired?
That you can get anywhere you truly want to go in life.
Before you start spilling your usual script about why it’s not possible and why you’re the exception to the rule, let me stop you. Stop right now because that’s one of the reasons why you’re not there already.
Become aware of your dialogue and what you tell the world that you’re deserving of. Being confident is not the same as being conceited. Just like putting yourself down and placing limitations on yourself is not the same as being nobel.
Becoming aware of your dialogue is not me suggesting that you lie to yourself about where you are in life, because being honest about where you are, right this second, is a vital part of this process.
Without blame, shame or judgement, be really honest about where you are in your life. What you have to work in your favour and what tools and resources you can utilise.
A common metaphor used here is the use of a SAT NAV. After entering your desired destination, a signal picks up where you currently are to work out the quickest and/or most direct route to your desired location.
To get to where you want to go in life, you have to know what and where your starting point is. Let me repeat that. YOUR starting point. This is not about anyone else or the help they’ve had or how easy they have it. This is only about you so don’t allow others to have power over your life or your future.
Once you know where you’re starting point is, you must be crystal clear about where or what your destination is.
Vague destinations like “I just want to be rich” will lead to vague results. What is rich? Rich to who? A four year old thinks you’re rich if you have £10. Or did you mean rich in love? Rich in opportunities?
Become clear and be specific.
How much money do you want? How will you get it? What will you spend it on? How will that feel?
What new job do you want? What is non-negotiable and what is just a preference? Where will you travel to? How far? What will the pay be? What hours will you work? What are your colleagues like? How will you feel waking up in the morning?
How much weight do you want to lose? When you’re at your desired weight, what will the scales read? When will you reach your goal by? Will you cut calories, up your physical activity or both? What meals will you cook? What time of day will you exercise?
You’ve got to get clear and know where you’re headed otherwise how will you know when you’ve arrived?
This is very important.
Check in with yourself. Ask yourself if it’s ok for you to achieve this goal.
Sounds obvious right?
You’d be surprised.
Us humans have these pesky things called limiting beliefs that we may not even be aware of. They are stories that we have come to accept as the “truth” so unconsciously we sabotage anything that may contradict or threaten our “truth”.
Some examples are:
- “If I earn more than my husband, he will feel emasculated and therefore leave me.”
- “If I lose weight, I will have nothing to hide behind and therefore be seen and will be vulnerable to being hurt.”
- “If I stand up for myself I will be scolded and love will be withheld from me.”
- “Rich people are dirty and immoral and so I always struggle financially so that I’m not dirty and immoral.”
I’m not judging (because you should hear mine!) but it is important for you to really check in and make sure this goal is ok for you to achieve because if it’s not, you’re subconscious mind, the part of your mind that calls the shots without you even knowing it, that runs on habit and not conscious decision making, will sabotage your efforts without you even knowing it.
The good news is that limiting beliefs can be changed and “redirected”. The belief is there to serve a purpose for you. Believe it or not, it’s there to serve a purpose of positive intent, it just got a little lost on the way.
Keep your eyes peeled for more about limiting beliefs on another blog post.
Once you know where you’re starting and where you’re heading and you’ve checked that it’s ok for you to achieve this goal, brainstorm some key steps that you’ll need to take in order to take you to where you want to go and then put them into order.
For example, if you want to buy a house and you have the deposit, some key steps might be to speak to a mortgage advisor, research and save for additional costs, look at properties and make an offer.
Lastly, ask yourself “why?”
Why do you want to achieve this goal? How will it benefit you? What will you gain by achieving this goal?
Finding your “why” can be the difference between achieving your goal or … not.
Make your “why” so compelling, so exciting and so motivating that it propels you into action, that it helps you make smarter choices that are more in-line with your goal, that even if you have slip-ups, your “why” puts you right back on track.
What goal or dream has always been in the background of your mind but you’ve always convinced your self you “can’t” because of X, Y or Z.
Write that dream down right now and go through the 6 steps now so that you get closer to where you know you want to, and can, be in life.