Sometimes, when we want something, even if we know it’ll improve our life, our happiness, our mood, our stress levels, even our financial situation, we just can’t seem to find the motivation to go for it.
Ok, yes, this might be a limiting belief that we spoke out in a previous blog. And this is one of the biggest reasons why people come to me for coaching (You can work through it yourself by following the steps here)
But there’s also another reason, people just can’t seem to find the motivation.
This is because of their long list of priorities, adding more things to their to-do isn’t lighting them up.
Let me tell you why.
Don’t shoot me when I tell you this. And don’t dismiss it before you let it sink in.
People don’t want their goal. They want what their goal will bring them emotionally.
Hear me out!
When someone says “I want more money” what they really mean is “I want the freedom that money can give me“.
When someone says “I want to lose weight” they don’t care where the weight goes and they don’t even care what the scales say. They care what they believe the new weight will bring them.
This could be a feeling of confidence, sexiness, approval, worthiness, or a whole range of other emotions. What they really mean is “I want to feel that emotion and I believe losing weight will bring me that.”
When someone says “I want a new car” they really mean “I want the emotion that I believe a new car will bring me.”
That emotion could be ‘to feel inferior to others.’
It could be ‘to feel relaxed and confident that I can drive to work everyday without having the fear that I may break down.’
It could be ‘to ensure my children are in a safe and comfortable vehicle giving me peace of mind that I’m being the best parent I can be.’
It could be anything.
I think you get my point.
It’s important to peel back the layers of your desires/goals.
My clients will tell you I’m serious about this. I call this “finding your ‘why‘”.
And it’s so important.
We are emotional beings and we need to stop running from our emotions.
We purchase things based on our emotions.
How many times have you made a purchase purely based on your emotions instead of logic?
Ok, now how many times have you made a purchase based on logic and then regretted it.
The heart knows what it wants, whereas the head can be persuaded. (anyone else a disney fan?)
If you tell yourself to achieve a goal, there’s no passion and no drive until you attach some emotions and feelings to it.
Your ‘why‘ is also the thing that’ll pick you back you and get you back on track when you reach hurdles and pitfalls because your ‘why‘ goes so much deeper and bigger than your ‘self‘.
Our ‘why‘ also often benefits those around us, either directly or indirectly, and for some reason, we seem to think other people are worthy of happiness and nice things more than we are ourselves. Even though you and I both know that’s rubbish.
I mean, if you really think about it, you kind of owe it to us to achieve your goal if it’s going to benefit the world, even if it’s just a small way, the world needs more of that.
And you definitely owe it to yourself to try to be as happy and fulfilled as you can, because… isn’t that why you came to experience this life?
And also, whether you know it or not, or believe me or not, you are an inspiration to others and are modelling how they believe they can (or cannot) live their life.
When you shine brightly, you give others the permission to do the same. Our emotions are contagious and when you are happy and laugh like a loon, those around you do too. Then those around them people do too and it becomes a ripple effect throughout the world.
Do it for you.
Do it for them.
Do it for us.
To find your ‘why‘ ask yourself:
“Why do I want this goal?
What do I believe it’ll bring me?
What do I believe it won’t bring me?
Who else will benefit if I achieve this?“