I’m sure you’ve heard of these sayings:
“Love heals all” and “love conquers all“
We all have our own idea of what love is and what it isn’t.
Some of us have been scarred by people and previous love interests and then we start to believe that love hurts. Or that it never lasts. Or that we’re not worthy of it.
Most of us go through life never allowing ourselves to fully love because we believe we are ‘protecting‘ ourselves, when in reality we are just limiting our experiences.
But love is such a beautiful and empowering place to be.
When we feel loved, we feel safe, protected and away from threat.
Love doesn’t hurt. Love is healing. Love is illuminating. When love is taken away, that hurts. When our love is betrayed or not reciprocated, that hurts, but love itself is the opposite of hurt.
When we are falling in love, we lose all sense of time, space and we ignore the trivial and petty things that might have previously irritated us. Falling in love makes us happier, less stressed, more present, less anxious, more generous, less Ebenezer Scrooge.
I’m not just talking about loving a partner, although that is a wonderful feeling, I’m talking about feeling love for yourself, for your pets, for your family & friends, for your job, for your home, for your health.
Being in a state of love makes us happier, nicer and more magnetic and attractive people. Others want to be around us, we make others feel good as well as feeling amazing within ourselves.
Have you noticed that people who are in love with their partner glow differently? And so do those that truly love themselves. I’m not talking about loving yourself in a vanity way, but in a self-accepting-and-being-OK-with-the-way-you-are kind of loving yourself.
Love can be expressed in many different ways. The way you love a parent will be different to how you love a child. The way you love a partner will be different to how to love a friend. But they’re all expressions of love. None are more or less than the other. Just different.
Love is never a waste of time. Even if relationships end, love teaches us so much and makes us feel good in the moment. If we love fully, then surely, we can never have any regrets no matter what comes next?
After all, ‘it is better to have loved and lost that never to have loved at all’, right?
But what is love?
Is it just another emotion?
How do you know if you’re in love?
I have asked so many people these questions because I’m fascinated by all the different answers.
What is the criteria for being in love? Where does lust end and love begin? Are they even on the same scale?
You can’t see love.
You can see the effects of love, but you can’t see love itself. So, how do we know where love exists and where it doesn’t?
Can we learn to love something or someone like we can learn a habit? Or is it a case of it’s either there or it isn’t?
Is there such a thing as ‘love at first sight‘? Or does the love grow over time?
I ask you these questions, not to give you my opinion, but for you to ponder on and discover your own perspective.
What I do know is that love has the power to heal. Heal the body, heal relationships, heal trauma, heal the world.
I truly believe that if everyone on the planet felt true, deep, unconditional love, even just 10% more than they currently do, the world would be free from so much hate, discrimination and conflict.
But how do we make this happen?
Well, in the words of Mahatma Gandhi:
If you want to change the world, start with yourself.
Even small acts of love and kindness will have huge ripple effects on your life and ultimately, the world as a whole.
There’s a lot of things that we cannot control in this world. There’s a lot of our experiences that are beyond our control too but there are some things that we do have power over, and these are some of the most powerful things.
Learning to love is a beautiful journey. But learning to love yourself is the most important journey of them all.
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase ‘treat others how you’d like to be treated‘ but what about treating yourself as you treat others… with love, respect and kindness?
Ultimately, the life we live is all influenced by how much we love ourselves. All our experiences from relationships we have, to the jobs we apply for, to the pay we ask for, to the way we dress ourselves (and so much more) all comes down to how worthy we feel and how much we love ourselves.
And let’s be clear. This is not a destination to aim for. It really is a journey. This is not an opportunity for us to blame or shame ourselves for not being at X or not quite feeling Y. It’s just a journey to love ourselves a little more than we did yesterday.
More love is always welcome. Remember, Falling in love makes us happier, less stressed, more present, less anxious, more generous, less Ebenezer Scrooge. So fall in love a little more with the person you spend most time with… you.
Now, it’s your turn.
I want to invite you to do 2 things.
1: Make a list of 5-10 ways you can inject small acts of self love into your life.
2: Take my 10-day Self-love Challenge, for an easy, affordable and long-lasting way to start loving yourself a little more, instantly.